Thursday, August 13, 2015

A Little something.

As a young person in today's India. I feel a sea of emotions much more complex than the last generation did.
At least they had a clear set of rules, however morbid, however archaic.
They could steal moments of happiness and comfort that you get a glimpse of when you see a smiling face peering back from an old black and white picture.
I always wonder, the smiling faces of my parents I remember so distinctly and the happiness , was it real? Is happiness really that easy and simple growing in innocent laughter. Or is it the strange sense of loneliness, lack of direction, passionless ambition that I feel... what is real.

The confusion I feel is overpowering, my emotions are real and so conflicting, my motives so strong yet different. Going from clarity to being pulled in different directions is like growing up in a day.

How friendships have changed. How I am expected to be so different from what I really am. Should I adamantly stick to the convention or follow the gnawing feeling of searching for something...Is happiness found in those precious moments with family, your old and greying father's embrace, or in the achievement of a goal , or in just following society's blueprint set out so clearly for a girl.
Maybe I don't want to get married. Maybe I am feeling conflicted and alone when all my friends are getting hitched.
Who am I really.What is that one place I can call home..forever.
One of those lovely monsoon mornings. Entire city is washed down :)